Introducing the Fare by Clare Festival + Market Food Review Matrix

Ensuring success in table-free, utensil-free, and one-handed eating since 2025

Minneapolis has a wide variety of farmers' markets and outdoor festivals all summer. (This, of course, culminates with the Minnesota State Fair.) Food plays a central role in many of these events - even farmers' markets that focus most on produce and grocery items also feature lots of ready-to-eat food vendors and food trucks. While every festival and market is unique, they share one common feature: there are never convenient places to sit at a table and eat your food. Thus, reviewing foods at festivals and markets based solely on taste and presentation is insufficient. We also need to review these foods through the lens of the context in which they are served - a chaotic, crowded, outdoor space where you're most likely going to be standing or walking while you eat with nary a table in sight.

My new Festival + Market Food Review Matrix solves this conundrum - it rates foods both in terms of taste and in terms of whether or not they are easy to eat in context.

The matrix is a tool that allows us to identify a) if a food is yummy or not and b) if it will be easy to eat in a festival or market setting. Items that are both yummy and easy to eat receive a green thumbs up. Non-yummy foods, whether or not they are easy to eat, receive a red thumbs down.

There's also a third middle-ground category: the yellow needs amenities designation. These are foods that are yummy but might be better or easier to eat with amenities like a table, utensils, and/or more than one hand. Thus, when a food is in this category, I will note which combination of the three amenities you would need in order to enjoy the food.

For example, a chicken tender basket (tenders, fries, dipping sauce, Texas toast, and sometimes coleslaw) is a perfect meal in terms of taste. However, it's a meal you need to eat while sitting down with a surface upon which you can place the basket and it's helpful to have two hands available to coordinate dipping. This means it would not be a great choice of snack while moving about a crowded market or festival unless there is a table available to you. The table also solves the one hand vs. two hands issue, because you can put whatever was in your second hand on the table.

In contrast, a pronto pup* is also a perfect meal in terms of taste and it can easily be eaten using one hand with no table or utensils necessary. (It also leaves your second hand free for a big, refreshing beer!) This item would receive a green thumbs up.

Here are some examples of foods that typically fall into each category:

Thumbs Up

• Pronto pup

• Corn on the cob or elote

• Anything served on a stick

• Sandwiches tidy and small enough to eat with one hand

• Hot dogs

• Simple burger (e.g., a McDonald's cheeseburger)

• Wraps or burritos

• Handheld pastries and cookies

Needs Amenities

• Large and/or messy sandwich

• Complex burger (e.g., a McDonald's big mac)

• Wings

• Salad of any type

• Chicken tender basket

• Cake

• Soups and stews

• Pasta

• Dumplings of any type

• Anything in a bag, like chips or mini donuts

Thumbs Down

• Blue cheese

• Miracle whip

• Squab

• Raisins

• Vegan "meat"

• Whole almonds

(I suppose I should note here that "yummy" is subjective...)

Hopefully this matrix provides you with a handy tool you can use next time you're deciding what to order at a market or festival. (Sometimes these rules also apply to events with passed hors d'oeuvres or backyard barbecues too.) I will be reviewing many of my farmers' market culinary adventures this summer through this lens as well for your convenience.

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*This is not the time nor the place for a long treatise on the differences between corn dogs and pronto pups, but please note that they are different and one is much better than the other.